This is the last post of gift-ofgrace.blogspot.com
i'm moving on to a new blog.


out of your life, because you dont need me anymore.
you're so special to my heart, that is why everything you do is destroying me.
i've never felt as terrible, as broken up like this for so long.
the last time that did, i lost wacky.
i lost a part of me where wacky filled up.

i found another part of me when i met you.
i loved you, gave you all, everything i could have given to this world.
and then, it destroyed me.
i'm no longer who i am,
for you took it away and killed that part of me.


tender, my heart had been to you, i wanted to know you better,
only to realise you're a prick, that killed me.
i've been finding life back, bit by bit,
through the distraction from you.
through the love of Christ, that restore, and breath life back to whatever is left of me.


This is one thing i can do for you.
for her too.
i will be gone.
dont do it to her, really, its more than what a human can bear.

i read the fourth person Eddie met, and it was more than i can take.
haha, a good book really.
i like his life, as boring he thought it was,
it was peaceful, and made perfect with love.
even while he was blind to the love around him while he was in earth,
he learnt and found it back in heaven.
i am going to finish the book.
haha, in tears again.











Love like rain, can nourish  from above, drenching the couples with a soaking joy.
But sometimes, under the angry heat of life,
Love dries on the surface and must nourish from below,
tending to its roots, keeping itself alife.

-Mitch Albom

i have learnt to shut up.

i looked at the dark hallway before me.
every footstep i take creates an echo.
hollow sounds, something in this dark hallway is pulling me, on and on.
"am i strong enough to take this?"

just a few more steps before i reach the place.
one,two,three.
i open my eyes, and saw the large picture before me.
there, i found it. the brown spot which belonged to us once.
just for a minute, i feast my eyes there.
just for a minute, i seem to hear, the laughters and heartbeat that sounded here before.
just for a minute, i seem to hear something small in my heart thumping furiously.
just for a minute.
then i looked away, and walked away.
that minute, i looked back.
i'm not sad, just happy my life once was made beautiful by such a memory.
yeah, you got it right, memory :)




its been awhile since ive touched my computer ><
totally worn out this week,
with band practise and stuff T_T
its been so long since i was so tired when i got home that,
the minute i reached my bed, i cant even finish my conversation with Daddy God, before i fell asleep ><
but wanna know something awesome?
im finding back my love for this band!
why? because God answered my prayers before every band practise.
to make every practise effortless, only through His strength :)
the band is truly small now, but we can still be as mighty!
people left and lost faith in us, so its up to us, the remaining ones to believe in ourselves!
yeah! i'll never give up on the band :)!


let me just share with you,
a conversation with yanping on tuesday, while we were on the train
we were talking about our future:)

when we grow up, we're definately going meet a special life partner God has prepared for us,
a marriage that way will be so so blessed!
and then each of us will start "reproducing" hahah
mindy wants 5 children ( waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)
yanping wants 4! (waaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaaa)
yinlin wants 4! ( waaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaa)
and me :) 3! hahaha
then we will be the "gan ma" of each other's children!
haha my child will have alot alot of gan ma!
like huiyi, mindy, yanping,yinlin,juliana,jiahuan, on and on~~~~
haha
and then all our children will go to the same school, same class, hahaha
yanping even thought of match making them -.-
piang so far~
haha and every thanksgiving, good friday, christmas,
we will gather around for parties at each other's house
hahaha

that day on the train, the both of us went wild with our imaginations about our future:)
on and on we went
last time i talked to mindy about a future too :)
we're gonna have a radio station when we're really old, when our careers are stable
then through the radio station, we will have gospel and testimonies shared
to encourage each other in the walk with the Lord :)
can imagine that day already
"halo everybody, welcome to we love Christ fm! i am dj siying and dj mindy is just beside me! today we have wonderful testimonies to share!"
hahaha that was lame



but i know, the picture God has painted for all his children's life is so beautiful :)
i rest in Him, that no matter what happens before me,
it is no accident, but for His purpose :)
everything is taken care of, for he paid everything on the Cross.
my friends, i have plenty of space here in this picture God has given me for my future:)
join me if you like, of my future:)
why dont you ask Him for a future he planned for you?


haha that was a really long post!
:) hope you survived reading it :P

What is past, remains in the past ;
i will only look forward to a wonderful future, You hold :)
for the Love i lost,
for the strength i lost,
for the smile i lost,
for the me i lost,
He will restore :)

Thank you though, for letting this happen to me,
so that i can realise the little significant things in my life, which are so much more genuine,
which are worth so much so much more than the promises, the love you gave

today, i find smiles and laughters all around me,
its not a difficult, but a beautiful day.

i thought i had to spend the day wallowing in pain and darkness,
but God does not allow me to even have a single day spent in pain.
He picked me up where you abandoned me, and lifted the corners of my mouth.

not lies, but the truth.
the dog can bark but the sun shines as brightly as ever.


thats final, last post, last words that ever has you in it.
i wont ever remember a date like this again :)
it has been a difficult, but wonderful one month without you







Forget about guilt, because the last thing i want is condemnation on you.
Christ saved me so that i can have the wonderful great love without condemnations,
being taught such a love, i love everybody this way, no condemnations :)

(:
yesterday was awesome, really..
haha actually, almost each day is awesome, and its BY HIS GRACE AND FAVOUR (:

before i went for service,
i was listening to the songs in Darren's mp3
(which i gotta return soon T_T)
i heard this song, Hillsong- Always,
and i was thinking, how i wish we can sing this during praise and worship (:
God answers all prayers, amen? (:
even the smallest one like a wish for a worship song!
haha
yesterday's praise and worship was COMPLETELY AWESOME!
its was extended, and i gave it all out, really, not for anybody else, but You God(:
Jump, Cry, Shout , Sing to your heart's content :D
Let the world say what they want,  but all i do is for You, for the One who loves me so dearly (:


I'm so happy that Tavin and Adeline joined us yesterday (:
its been awhile since i catch up with sec friends,
Thank God for such a wonderful chance (:
and its then i realise i really miss them ><


" You put a gleam in my eye, you put a skip in my feet,
when my Hope was gone, it place it back there again,
You put a song in my mouth, and a sword in my hand,
my heart overflows with the Goodness of the Lord!"

" You're alive and i am free! you are everything, everything we need!"

"Only You can mend the broken heart ,And cause the blind to see
Erase complete the sinners past .And set the captives free
Only You can take the widows cry ,And cause her heart to sing
Be a Father to the fatherless ,Our Savior and our King
We will be Your hands, we will be Your feet
We will run this race
On the darkest place, we will be Your light
We will be Your light!"


the lyrics may not be right, but they're playing over and over in my heart (:
God, my heart overflows with Your goodness!
i cant wait for the next service man ><



tomorrow, will be a day i need extra extra strenght to face
extra extra extra extra strenght,
and i am praying believing i'll be strong (:

this is the best part of the entire movie
the very best part (:


Just go and watch it wont you?
God is so good , so good,
look how he can transform our lives (:
From weeping, from darkness, from sadness
to Hapiness, bliss, peace, comfort!



Someone tells me, in the real adult world,
no such thing as dating on the basis of Love.
no such thing as true love.
But, i tell you, there is.
that is On the Cross.

the ultimate, true, real genuine love.
If you dont know a love like that,
if you dont learn a love like that, how do you love then?


Its not about you, its not about your desire, your happiness in every relationship
its about  the opposite person.
its about the person you love.
You do everything for her, you show her your care.
even if she spat at you, even if she rejected you, even if she is ungrateful.
you still love her dont you?
thats TRUE LOVE

you can only do it, when you understand the most powerful real love
the sacrifice on the Cross.
the person who DIED for you and for me,
for us who did not deserve it.
who never stopped loving us, even while we rejected Him over and over again.


Once you understood such a love, you cannot help but love like He do.
What i offer in a relationship, as a daughter of God,
is not anyone in this world can offer.
because, God taught me to love like He did.

My love is not as perfect as His still.

but i believe in a day, God, sends one for me
the perfect life partner for me (:
where he loves me the way i love him - God's way (:



A man, who loves God, even more than he loves me (: